Here are some things that have happened that make me feel like I am receiving a badge of honor - exclusive to mothers:
:: little green grass stains on little boy pants
:: finding pine cones in my washing machine
:: finding rocks and dirt in little jackets pockets
:: making mustard or relish sandwich
:: having spit up run down my cleavage - and not even thinking twice about it
:: picking up lego piece, after lego piece, after lego piece
:: having Linc come up to me several times a day asking me to "fix it"
:: sitting in the Jeep for the third time in a day, just to see a little boy's face light up
:: while trying to feed jackson, figuring out how to console Lincoln who just bumped his head...again
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Jackson's Birth
Jackson's birth was a truly incredible experience, as we chose to do it at home. Don't get me wrong, I love the story of Lincoln's birth - its precious, but there is something about the second one, actually knowing what to expect in the labor/birthing process that makes it so different.
We didn't tell very many people that we were birthing at home because honestly I didn't want to have to deal with all the looks, possible nay sayers, etc... So we decided that, Lord willing, that everyone could find out once we had the successful birth at home.
Contractions started sometime around 7:30am on Sunday, March 28th. I had been struggling the last few days, trying to make a decision if I was going to take a castor oil drink to help induce labor and had decided if he didn't come by Sunday I would take the drink. Thankfully I didn't have to do anything! I was scheduled to meet my bestie Becki Rodin, from Ontario, for breakfast, as she was in town visiting family. We were supposed to meet around 8:30am, so she texted me just before 8am to make sure we were still on, and I told her I was having contractions. As I sat there trying to decide if I could fit in a quick breakfast before the baby would come, I realized that would be pretty stupid, so I had to cancel. I woke Stephen up shortly after, and told him I was having contractions. "For real?" was his response. "Yup" - I haven't seen him move so quickly out of bed in a long time! We got Lincoln dressed, called my midwife and my mom. Packed Lincoln's bag, and my mom and brother Chris and sister in law Corissa came over. Chris and Corissa had just arrived in town the night before from Africa where they had spent the month! They took Lincoln back to my parent's. My midwife arrived shortly after about 8:30 or 9, I was in the tub, just relaxing, as the contractions weren't too bad then.
The labor was so incredible, I was in this very controlled state of mind, so in tune with my body. I felt so comfortable being in my own home, it definitely contributed to the amazing labor that i had. Around 9:30 we all had some toast for breakfast, and I showed Becki (our midwife) our house a little bit. At this point I had to stop whatever I was doing whenever a contraction hit. I went back into the tub for a little bit, then Beckie told me that I could either stay in the tub and rest and keep things where they were at or I could get out, do the stairs a few times and that would probably take my labor to the next stage. Well, I am not one to put off meeting my 2nd born child, so out of the tub I got and I did the stairs a few times. Around 10am Beckie checked me and I was 7cm dilated. She called her back up midwife, we knew it wouldn't be long. Shortly after that my contractions really started to progress. At about 10:50 I had my first "screaming, would do anything to get out of my own body" contraction while in the bathroom. The second midwife arrived just as it was happening. I knew that I had to get to my room, where they were set up to birth the baby, quickly before the next one hit. I made it just in time, as the second contraction hit, and I ended up on the floor. At this point i could feel Jacksons coming. I was not on the bed, dignified as I had imagined, but instead on the floor, gripping my bed saying, "I need help, I need help!" My midwife was there coaching me "Keep your voice low Cher, nice low moans" and then right after my third contraction "I have to push!!!". I have 3 hard, fast pushes, one right after the other and out he came, born at 11:02am on the floor of our bedroom. My mom came upstairs just in time to see him come, he came so fast!
The feeling of accomplishment when that baby comes out is indescribable. After Lincoln was born I remember saying "I did it. I did it" almost in disbelief. But after Jackson I kept saying "I'm done! I'm done." So thankful that the laboring was over.
Once he was born they put him on my stomach, and I just tried to soak in the fact that we had another baby boy. I was definitely in a bit of shock, as the last part of the labor went so fast and so intense. It took a while for me to catch up to what had happened. I don't remember a lot of what happened, I know Stephen cut the cord at some point. I birthed the placenta. After they got all the medical pads cleaned up I moved onto our bed and just spent time with our son. Shortly after Chris and Corissa brought Lincoln back home, and my dad and other brother cameron arrived. They all met Jackson within the first hour of his birth! We had a family meal together. It was wonderful.
We didn't decide right away on Jackson's name, there was another name we were strongly considering. But after about a day we made it official: Jackson Philip Stephen.
Jackson means "God is gracious" - which personally has a lot of meaning to me, and my pregnancy.
Philip is the name of my grandfather, one of the most incredible men that I know. He has sown so much into our family, and I truly have an amazing heritage because of him and my grandmother, Inez.
Stephen is after Stephen - again one of the most incredible men that I know and i am luck enough to be married to him!
I was so fortunate to be able to birth at home, and will definitely be doing it with our next one - it was so amazing!
We didn't tell very many people that we were birthing at home because honestly I didn't want to have to deal with all the looks, possible nay sayers, etc... So we decided that, Lord willing, that everyone could find out once we had the successful birth at home.
Contractions started sometime around 7:30am on Sunday, March 28th. I had been struggling the last few days, trying to make a decision if I was going to take a castor oil drink to help induce labor and had decided if he didn't come by Sunday I would take the drink. Thankfully I didn't have to do anything! I was scheduled to meet my bestie Becki Rodin, from Ontario, for breakfast, as she was in town visiting family. We were supposed to meet around 8:30am, so she texted me just before 8am to make sure we were still on, and I told her I was having contractions. As I sat there trying to decide if I could fit in a quick breakfast before the baby would come, I realized that would be pretty stupid, so I had to cancel. I woke Stephen up shortly after, and told him I was having contractions. "For real?" was his response. "Yup" - I haven't seen him move so quickly out of bed in a long time! We got Lincoln dressed, called my midwife and my mom. Packed Lincoln's bag, and my mom and brother Chris and sister in law Corissa came over. Chris and Corissa had just arrived in town the night before from Africa where they had spent the month! They took Lincoln back to my parent's. My midwife arrived shortly after about 8:30 or 9, I was in the tub, just relaxing, as the contractions weren't too bad then.
The labor was so incredible, I was in this very controlled state of mind, so in tune with my body. I felt so comfortable being in my own home, it definitely contributed to the amazing labor that i had. Around 9:30 we all had some toast for breakfast, and I showed Becki (our midwife) our house a little bit. At this point I had to stop whatever I was doing whenever a contraction hit. I went back into the tub for a little bit, then Beckie told me that I could either stay in the tub and rest and keep things where they were at or I could get out, do the stairs a few times and that would probably take my labor to the next stage. Well, I am not one to put off meeting my 2nd born child, so out of the tub I got and I did the stairs a few times. Around 10am Beckie checked me and I was 7cm dilated. She called her back up midwife, we knew it wouldn't be long. Shortly after that my contractions really started to progress. At about 10:50 I had my first "screaming, would do anything to get out of my own body" contraction while in the bathroom. The second midwife arrived just as it was happening. I knew that I had to get to my room, where they were set up to birth the baby, quickly before the next one hit. I made it just in time, as the second contraction hit, and I ended up on the floor. At this point i could feel Jacksons coming. I was not on the bed, dignified as I had imagined, but instead on the floor, gripping my bed saying, "I need help, I need help!" My midwife was there coaching me "Keep your voice low Cher, nice low moans" and then right after my third contraction "I have to push!!!". I have 3 hard, fast pushes, one right after the other and out he came, born at 11:02am on the floor of our bedroom. My mom came upstairs just in time to see him come, he came so fast!
The feeling of accomplishment when that baby comes out is indescribable. After Lincoln was born I remember saying "I did it. I did it" almost in disbelief. But after Jackson I kept saying "I'm done! I'm done." So thankful that the laboring was over.
Once he was born they put him on my stomach, and I just tried to soak in the fact that we had another baby boy. I was definitely in a bit of shock, as the last part of the labor went so fast and so intense. It took a while for me to catch up to what had happened. I don't remember a lot of what happened, I know Stephen cut the cord at some point. I birthed the placenta. After they got all the medical pads cleaned up I moved onto our bed and just spent time with our son. Shortly after Chris and Corissa brought Lincoln back home, and my dad and other brother cameron arrived. They all met Jackson within the first hour of his birth! We had a family meal together. It was wonderful.
We didn't decide right away on Jackson's name, there was another name we were strongly considering. But after about a day we made it official: Jackson Philip Stephen.
Jackson means "God is gracious" - which personally has a lot of meaning to me, and my pregnancy.
Philip is the name of my grandfather, one of the most incredible men that I know. He has sown so much into our family, and I truly have an amazing heritage because of him and my grandmother, Inez.
Stephen is after Stephen - again one of the most incredible men that I know and i am luck enough to be married to him!
I was so fortunate to be able to birth at home, and will definitely be doing it with our next one - it was so amazing!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Jackson Philip Stephen Dombowsky
Who is Jackson?
Well I have only got to know him for the last 15 days outside of the womb. In the womb, he was my hiccup baby. Always with the hiccups. And he continues that outside as well.
Jackson is super relaxed. Jackson loves to sleep, eat, and observe the world.
Jackson, without fail, will fill his diaper right after I have just changed him.
Jackson is kind to his mother, he lets her get one four to five hour stretch of sleep each night. (most of the time!)
Jackson only cries if he wants to be cuddled, or we are changing his diaper or he is really hungry.
Jackson is gassy boy - and generally prefers to explode his poops into his diapers, surprising anyone who maybe holding him at the time.
Jackson doesn't mind when his big brother pokes at his eyes, nose, ears and mouth.
Jackson is the perfect fit into our family. He just makes sense.
Well I have only got to know him for the last 15 days outside of the womb. In the womb, he was my hiccup baby. Always with the hiccups. And he continues that outside as well.
Jackson is super relaxed. Jackson loves to sleep, eat, and observe the world.
Jackson, without fail, will fill his diaper right after I have just changed him.
Jackson is kind to his mother, he lets her get one four to five hour stretch of sleep each night. (most of the time!)
Jackson only cries if he wants to be cuddled, or we are changing his diaper or he is really hungry.
Jackson is gassy boy - and generally prefers to explode his poops into his diapers, surprising anyone who maybe holding him at the time.
Jackson doesn't mind when his big brother pokes at his eyes, nose, ears and mouth.
Jackson is the perfect fit into our family. He just makes sense.
I am blessed
i have not one, but two incredible little boys.
and thats not just my biased mother opinion, they truly are extraordinary.
Lincoln is so well behaved, so loving, so adventurous. Just this rad little boy, with an incredible personality.
Then along comes Jackson, born out of the most trying seasons of my life. He is relaxed, he sleeps amazing, and probably the most exciting for me, the kid can breastfeed!
i know i did nothing to deserve this - to be so truly blessed.
and right now, they are enough - nothing in our stressful lives matter because all that matters are those two little boys. knowing all the work and stress and tears we shed as we try to figure out this season of life, they don't matter. because at th end of the day we have each other.
yesterday, they were not enough.
the weights of this world overwhelming us, causing us to loose sight of what we have.
and thats not just my biased mother opinion, they truly are extraordinary.
Lincoln is so well behaved, so loving, so adventurous. Just this rad little boy, with an incredible personality.
Then along comes Jackson, born out of the most trying seasons of my life. He is relaxed, he sleeps amazing, and probably the most exciting for me, the kid can breastfeed!
i know i did nothing to deserve this - to be so truly blessed.
and right now, they are enough - nothing in our stressful lives matter because all that matters are those two little boys. knowing all the work and stress and tears we shed as we try to figure out this season of life, they don't matter. because at th end of the day we have each other.
yesterday, they were not enough.
the weights of this world overwhelming us, causing us to loose sight of what we have.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Went to the mall
Went to Winner's and the mall today with my mom, trying to keep the days actually going by. At the mall I was asked twice when I am due.
"Four days ago.", is my unimpressed answer.
I realized I was wrong once I got home.
It is now five days ago.
This.Sucks.
Baby.Please.Come.
"Four days ago.", is my unimpressed answer.
I realized I was wrong once I got home.
It is now five days ago.
This.Sucks.
Baby.Please.Come.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Milkshake
This pregnancy has been much different than Lincolns. Now I am sure I mostly remember the wonderful things about Linc's pregnancy, those sweet endorphins blocking out the rest, but I do know they have been different.
Physically this pregnancy has been more difficult, in some ways. The nausea at the beginning was much easier than Linc. But the weight gain came quickly and fiercely. So much so we couldn't even hide that we were pregnant at 11 weeks! I had to get prenatal massage with this pregnancy because of the stress on my lower back - but who can complain about getting an hour massage every 3 weeks! I haven't retained water nearly as much with Linc (thankfully!). I have gained more weight with this baby, I think I am at 55lbs now.
Emotionally I expected this pregnancy to be wonderful and exciting. Boy was I wrong. I went through all the same emotions I did with Lincoln - fear of becoming a mom (again?), wondering what it would do to our finances, social life and marriage. Regretting not waiting longer, wondering how in the world I would manage being a mother of two. Being so emotional over what it might mean to Lincoln, and to our relationship! So many of the same emotions, and so many new ones accompanied this pregnancy.
Mentally, it has mostly been easier. I found it very hard with the first one not knowing what labor would be like. I'm sure most first time mom's feel that way, especially if you want to do it naturally. But with Lincoln I didn't have a clue how to prepare myself for the hormonal imbalance that takes place after baby is born. I was a shell of myself for at least the first 4 weeks. It was fairly horrible month. Which I feel aweful about. This time I feel like I know much better what to expect with this second child, but sometimes knowing that the first month could be hard drives me a little batty - feeling much fear of how in the world I would do it with not only a newborn relying on me, but a very perceptive and caring two year old. The one area that has been much harder mentally with this child is going over due!
Going over due is the most mentally challenging thing a pregnant women can go through! You are beyond done being pregnant, but still very pregnant which in my case means emotional and hormonal. So because you are emotional and hormonal you easily get stressed, especially when your baby doesn't come. But your baby (maybe) doesn't come because you aren't relaxed. But your aren't relaxed because your still pregnant. But your still pregnant because you aren't relaxed!!!! I try to be relaxed about it - but its been impossible so far. With lincoln I was totally prepared to go at least 10 days over due, had no idea what the start of labor would look like. And bam, I wake up on his due date have crazy insane labour for about 3 hours and the kid is born. This baby, i didn't expect to go overdue - and figure I will have much better idea of what labor will look like. Well guess I was wrong. The most frustrating part is the fact that I have had no signs of labor, besides some braxton hicks! I truly feel like I will be pregnant forever, and that there isn't even a baby inside of me. And I'm only 4 days over due! (One day if you go by the ultra sound due date) I am such a wuss! I will be shocked if this baby ever decides to come. Stephen and I made a deal, if the baby stays inside me for 12 months, we will name it Buster (a little 'arrested development' humor for those who watched)
Oh yes and the dreams! With Lincoln the dreams were wonderful, reaffirming. In all of the them I bonded with the baby, and we had a boy and they were just wonderful. The dreams I have had with this baby usually involve the baby looking quite homely, me not evening knowing what the sex of the baby is, and not even getting to hold it for quite sometime after it was born. Last nights dream I was shocked when I held my baby for the first time, at how big it was, and my mother remarked, "Well its gained a good 5lbs since birth!) I also mistook it for a boy, when really it was a girl. And an ugly girl at that. So then i feel like the worst mother ever for the first few hours in the morning. And what does Stephen tell me when i tell him about my dreams? "Honey, you really need to stop dreaming about the baby." Good idea.
This is quickly turning into a crazy hormonal lady rant, so I will end it here.
ps the title has nothing to do with the content. I was simply drinking a milkshake when I sat down to blog. And then I knocked it over. Perfect.
Physically this pregnancy has been more difficult, in some ways. The nausea at the beginning was much easier than Linc. But the weight gain came quickly and fiercely. So much so we couldn't even hide that we were pregnant at 11 weeks! I had to get prenatal massage with this pregnancy because of the stress on my lower back - but who can complain about getting an hour massage every 3 weeks! I haven't retained water nearly as much with Linc (thankfully!). I have gained more weight with this baby, I think I am at 55lbs now.
Emotionally I expected this pregnancy to be wonderful and exciting. Boy was I wrong. I went through all the same emotions I did with Lincoln - fear of becoming a mom (again?), wondering what it would do to our finances, social life and marriage. Regretting not waiting longer, wondering how in the world I would manage being a mother of two. Being so emotional over what it might mean to Lincoln, and to our relationship! So many of the same emotions, and so many new ones accompanied this pregnancy.
Mentally, it has mostly been easier. I found it very hard with the first one not knowing what labor would be like. I'm sure most first time mom's feel that way, especially if you want to do it naturally. But with Lincoln I didn't have a clue how to prepare myself for the hormonal imbalance that takes place after baby is born. I was a shell of myself for at least the first 4 weeks. It was fairly horrible month. Which I feel aweful about. This time I feel like I know much better what to expect with this second child, but sometimes knowing that the first month could be hard drives me a little batty - feeling much fear of how in the world I would do it with not only a newborn relying on me, but a very perceptive and caring two year old. The one area that has been much harder mentally with this child is going over due!
Going over due is the most mentally challenging thing a pregnant women can go through! You are beyond done being pregnant, but still very pregnant which in my case means emotional and hormonal. So because you are emotional and hormonal you easily get stressed, especially when your baby doesn't come. But your baby (maybe) doesn't come because you aren't relaxed. But your aren't relaxed because your still pregnant. But your still pregnant because you aren't relaxed!!!! I try to be relaxed about it - but its been impossible so far. With lincoln I was totally prepared to go at least 10 days over due, had no idea what the start of labor would look like. And bam, I wake up on his due date have crazy insane labour for about 3 hours and the kid is born. This baby, i didn't expect to go overdue - and figure I will have much better idea of what labor will look like. Well guess I was wrong. The most frustrating part is the fact that I have had no signs of labor, besides some braxton hicks! I truly feel like I will be pregnant forever, and that there isn't even a baby inside of me. And I'm only 4 days over due! (One day if you go by the ultra sound due date) I am such a wuss! I will be shocked if this baby ever decides to come. Stephen and I made a deal, if the baby stays inside me for 12 months, we will name it Buster (a little 'arrested development' humor for those who watched)
Oh yes and the dreams! With Lincoln the dreams were wonderful, reaffirming. In all of the them I bonded with the baby, and we had a boy and they were just wonderful. The dreams I have had with this baby usually involve the baby looking quite homely, me not evening knowing what the sex of the baby is, and not even getting to hold it for quite sometime after it was born. Last nights dream I was shocked when I held my baby for the first time, at how big it was, and my mother remarked, "Well its gained a good 5lbs since birth!) I also mistook it for a boy, when really it was a girl. And an ugly girl at that. So then i feel like the worst mother ever for the first few hours in the morning. And what does Stephen tell me when i tell him about my dreams? "Honey, you really need to stop dreaming about the baby." Good idea.
This is quickly turning into a crazy hormonal lady rant, so I will end it here.
ps the title has nothing to do with the content. I was simply drinking a milkshake when I sat down to blog. And then I knocked it over. Perfect.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)