Ellianna's birth was preceded by many tears, anxiety and prayers. After having 2 wonderful, amazing births attended by my midwife, Becky, the last birth being at home and life changing, I was having a hard time adjusting to the unknown of birthing in a hospital, with a DR, in a system that is behind the times and not very supportive of natural, women led births. When Stephen and I went for the hospital tour and were led into the birthing room (which is different than the laboring room, the recovery room and the initial assesment room) and heard the nurse say, "and here are the stir rups you put your feet in" - my jaw dropped. Stirrups?? Realy?? In 2013?? Well I had many moments of crying into his arms, crying by myself, having long talks with my wonderful doula. I had to continually give it over to the Lord, because I could do nothing about the situation except stand up for what we KNEW was best for us and our baby, and at the same time enjoy and embrace this birth even though I was convinced it would not be a positive experience.
Thankfully, God knows the desires of our heart.
The other stressful factor about Ellie's pregnancy was the fact I was due around Aug 8th, and we sold our house and had to be out on Aug 22nd. I went 10 days past with Jackson, so if I went 10 days past with her, well I would still be recovering and we would need to be out of the house. But again, I just handed it over to God. He orchestrated the sale of our house and He knew the timing of the baby. I was just along for the ride.
The weekend before I was due, I was fairly confident I was going to have the baby earlier than my date. I started taking long walks-- in which I did a lot of praying and meditating on a positive birth. I partook in regular 'let's get labor going' activities like sex, walks, and spicy food. My parent's had come down that weekend as my mom was in the midst of moving from Winnipeg to Moose Jaw. It was then they told Stephen + I that my mom would be moving and my dad would not. They were going to separate for a while. Another thing I simply gave to God, at 39 weeks pregnant and basically had to say, "I'll deal with this later". Monday night I began to feel crampy. I was excited and paying very close attention my body. I got out my pregnancy journal and noted what I was feeling, only to see that at the exact same time I had the same crampiness with Jackson, and he was 10 days late. I was discouraged but took it all in stride. I woke up around 6:30 am on Tuesday, Aug 6th with cramping again. It was dull, but didn't subside so I decided to get up and move around to see if it would go away or intensify.It wasn't going away, but didn't feel like much, so I had a shower. Around 7:30 I decided I probably was in labor and woke Stephen up. "Do you want to have a baby today?" is pretty much the best way to wake your husband up with. I texted my doula saying, "I think I'm in labor", as I still wasn't 100% sure if it was actual labor. It get's beautiful and blurry from there. Stephen called his mom and told her to have Emily come right away, as I labor quickly. It was muggy and rainy that morning. I puttered around the house folding laundry, doing dishes and embracing each contraction, as I have learned in my previous births the more you can give into your contractions, instead of fighting them the better the labor is. Each one brings me closer to my baby, so I am thankful for them. My doula arrives and is beyond wonderful. Letting me lean into her as the contractions are drawing more of my attention. Massaging my feet, and whispering encouraging and empowering words. Emily, Debby and Michael arrive and I can't quite recall all the details but I know at one point all three were in the house, which was surprising to me, as I had assumed they would drop Emily off and meet us at the hospital later. It was a little awkward labour in front of my father in-law, but it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before. I asked to go for a walk, so Michelle, Stephen and I set off in the warm, cloudy morning. As I waddled down the street we popped into my sister in-law's house to let her know I was in labour. She was so excited and asked if she could watch me go through a contraction, ha haha. We walked only one block before Michelle and Stephen told me that we should turn around because they were concerned with how close my contractions were getting. At this point I had to stop and lean into Stephen and give the contractions all of my focus. We made it back to the house and we woke up the boys. I insisted on getting them dressed. Not surprisingly, my mothering instict was extremely high during labor, and it didn't just encompass the baby I was about to birth but made me extra sensitive to my sweet boys. My contractions were deep moans at this point, and I remember having to lean over Linc's bed while he was getting dressed as another one rolled over me, moaning through it. After it ended he said "Mommy what are you doing?" "My body is getting ready to have the baby, Linc!" "Oh, you sound funny!" As he laughs. Everyone started telling me that it was time to go to the hospital and I was digging my feet in a little bit -- I didn't want to get there too early, I really wanted to make sure I was at home as long as possible, plus Jack wasn't dressed yet! So I barely was able to get Jack dressed. And then , of course I had to give them the presents I had prepared for them. Once that was complete, my mother in-law practically pushed us out the door as my contractions were about 1 min apart and I was closing my eyes through them. We got into the vehicle and I immediately started transition, or maybe I was already starting to transition. But all I remember is hitting EVERY pot hole on the way, hitting every red light on the way and thinking half way there how I had forgotten our emergency birth kit at home so I would have to make it to the hosptial. We arrived at the front door and Michelle helped me in as Stephen quickly parked the car. Of course you have to register first when you arrive at the hospital. I was fully dilated, I was ready to PUSH. As we stood in the entrance with Stephen as he waited to register (take a number please) I ducked around a corner as to not draw too much attention to myself and to try and pull back from my labor. "Things are about to get pretty real." I said to my doula, "I hope everyone is ready for a show!" Thankfully they told us to go on up ahead to the womens floor and let Stephen skip the line to register me quickly. We arrived on women's health and no one was around. We got the front desk and my doula explained who I was, that I have a history of fast L+D's and that I was ready to push. "I feel like I need to PUSH!" I breathed out through my rolling contractions.That got their attention! They quickly ushered me into the delivery room, skipping the first 2 steps in their 5 step system. I kept asking Michelle if Stephen was there yet -- I absolutely positively did not want to have this baby without him there. Next thing I know he is in the room. I change out of my dress and into a gown, "I just want you to climb up on the bed here so we can take some readings to see how far along your labor is," the one nurse said to me. I couldn't believe it, is she serious? "You can try" I manage to say. I want to be cooperative, I want this birth to be as good as possible. As everyone is bustling around me, she realizes I would not be lying still fo 15 mins for her stupid machines to get a reading. "Do you think you can give me a urine sample?" I'm gone by this point, I head Michelle say, "I think she's ready to push." Stephen is giving instructions, "We don't want the eye cream, we want the cord to pulse out, we don't want the baby bathed, we want skin to skin immediately after birth..." As the nurse starts to pull out the stirrups he says "We won't be need those." During all of this I am running soley on primal instinct. "I like to labor on my side" I manage to say and try to get into the position. But it feels wrong. So wrong... I feel like i have been pushed out of an airplane on my back, out of control, unable to focus my energy. Up until then I was still in control, so having this overwhelming feeling I did what my body told me, which in that moment was FLIP OVER. So I flipped over onto all fours. I have never delivered this way. I never thought I would deliver this way. But there I was. It felt better, I felt I could focus my energy and push that baby out. "I can't deliver the baby that way, she'll have to flip back" I hear the nurse say, "Yes you can, it will be ok." Stephen replies to her. He has this tone that says, this is normal, you can do this to the nurse. "No, I can't catch the baby that way", she says. "Ok, then I'll catch the baby." Stephen says. "Uh, I guess I can catch the baby anyway it comes" She quickly says. I am literally thinking "SOMEONE JUST CATCH THIS BABY" Michelle, moves the back of the bed up so I can lean against it. I give 2 or 3 pushes, one right after the other. No break in between these final contractions just roll over each other. At some point I poop. I POOP. My biggest fear of child birth, and I did it - with my butt fully visible for all to see.Next thing I know she is out. The nurse has caught her, and realized her cord is too short to let her rest on the bed, so they hold her as in those brief moments we process she is out, and try to adjust my position so that she won't be dangling there. But my body was just running full steam like a freight train, it takes a few extra moments to focus it to change positions, especially with a baby attached to my insides :) The cord stops pulsing quite quickly so they just cut the cord and then I flip over. "Cher, you have your girl!" my husband tells me through tears. What?? What did he say? I have a girl? A GIRL!!! I sobbed. As I turn over and am finally handed my baby girl, I"m in love. It's amazing. Sometime during the next half hour I deliver the placenta, am checked and found zero tears, the Dr arrives and he and Stephen check her over. The Dr sings happy birthday to her and quickly gets her back to me. We put a drop of frankinsence oil on her head and read the scripture we had chosen for her over her. "May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, o Lord my rock and my refuge." (Psalms 19:14). The Dr even comes over and reads the scripture we had picked out and loves it. It was perfect. Her labor was deep and beautiful. Her delivery was fast and exciting. It was all so wonderful. It could not have gone any better. This was our best case sceneario and it actually happened. My dr gives us the all clear to discharge as soon as we are ready. She was born at 9:52am and we left the hospital around 6pm. Stephen's parents were in the waiting room and were able to meet her shortly after birth -- their first (of 7) grandbabies they met immediately. Lincoln and Jackson came for a visit around lunch time and were so excited to meet her. They loved her immediately and it was wonderful to have all my babies together. The massive amount of adrenaline coursed for a few hours after her birth, pure euphoria. Text were sent, phone calls were made. And then finally in the afternoon I rested. My doula stayed with me the whole time, even for an hour after we went home. Stephen went to get the kids from the farm that evening and we were all together as a family that night. My mom came on Thursday night and stayed with us until the move.
And that was how our beautiful Ellianna Christine Grace came into our world. "God has answered" is the meaning of her name and the testament that He does!
