Lincoln at the end of 2010

I have been lazy with my recording of lifes little mile stones. It is especially hard with Lincoln, as his milestones are small but frequent. With Jackson, his milestones are huge, and easily noted. Sitting, teeth and crawling - such big accomplishments!While Lincolns are subtle to most people, but as his doting mother, I find each exciting! Here are a few that have happened over the last few months:
Lincoln always said "sure" instead of "yes". Lincoln, do you want to go outside? Sure! Lincoln, should we get dressed? "Sure!" Lincoln, would you like to go swimming on the moon? "Sure!" It was precious, and I loved it. I knew it would not be too long before his sures would become yeses, so I savored each one. And sure enough one day I noticed Lincoln replied "yes" a few times during the day. Then One day, I realized it had been a few days since he had said "sure". So I looked at my little boy and said "Lincoln, when Mommy asks you a question, I want to you say "sure". OK? No more "yes" just say "sure"". Little blue eyes look up at am, "Sure!". It didn't last for too long, and his "sure" is extinct but it lives in my memory.
Lincoln continues to add more complex words almost everyday to his vocabulary. Grandma, Cameron, Lincoln, Thomas, truck, are all of the latest additions. Some of our least favorable new words are "dang it" and "suck" (thanks to Uncle Luke!)
Lincoln recently spent 2 weeks getting to know his cousins. It has been over a year since we have seen them, so it was interesting to watch the 3 older ones interact. Ezra is 4, Linc 2 1/2 and Francesca 2. Lincoln is just at an age where is he is learning to play with other children, and sharing is a new concept. Well it was a forced lesson, but Linc did really well. There were definitely melt downs and battles everyday, but overall he enjoyed his time with the cousins. Even though whenever we mentioned going out to the farm he would say "No kids! No kids!"
Recently while in Winnipeg for Christmas Lincoln started to call my mom 'Grandma', and my dad taught Lincoln not to call him Grandpa, but to call him 'John'. Surprisingly Lincoln took to it and whenever I say "Lincoln, did you have fun at Grandma & Grandpas?" He says, "JOhn. Grandma & John."
Unfortunately Lincoln still has not said "I love you". I told Stephen that was what I wanted for Christmas. It didn't happen, but my Matt & Nat bag did help ease the pain a little.
Potty Training has yet to be attempted. Which is 100% because I am scared to even try as I have no idea what to do and the idea of him peeing all over my carpet, or him being out and about and it being -30 and him wetting himself just does not sound like fun to me!
Lincoln still loves trains & plains the most. In fact we were at Chapters about 2 weeks ago. Just ran in to grab a book and a coffee, didn't have time to stop and play with the train set in the childrens section. Didn't even think Lincoln would realize where we were since we had only played there 2 times before. Well meltdown level 5 ensued when we left. So we after dragging him out of there we promised we would return to play trains before we left the city. Well a 2 year old never forgets. After each stop, "Choo-Choo?" "No, bud not yet! But soon!" Finally at the end of our errands we take the right turn into Chapters "YES! CHOO CHOO" Followed by the double fist pump in the air is what we heard from the back seat. He is so smart!

Days of Darkness

Monday & Tuesday of this last week were two of the hardest days I have walked through in a long time. The perfect storm of being house bound, parenting solo for over a week, & feeling like a failure in every aspect of my life. I failed more times as a parent in those 48 hours that i have ever in the last 2.5 years.
But God is faithful.
+ this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_P7Ji93pVA
+ spending a whole day doing manual labor with Stephen
+ joining a new small group
=
refreshed
motivated
determined
excited

This is what I have learned:
monotony is maddening
real community is vital
my character is tested not only in major life issue present but more importantly everyday behind the 4 walls of my home by my 2 year old son with only him as a witness as to whether i pass or fail. to remember he is the only witness that matters is the key.

My Bucket List

Here are some things that I truly want to experience in life:
(I will add to it as I think of things worthy of the my list)

1. Either witness or participate in a flash mob
2. Attend a loved ones birth
3. Attend a U2 concert

Happy!

Tonight Lincoln added the word happy to his vocabulary, after hearing Stephen say it while watching the rider game. This is what we experience for a solid 20 minutes after the new found word was discovered:

7 Months and Incredible

My sweet Jackson.
He is pure happiness!
Jackson is seven months old and I can't believe it. He has his 2 bottom teeth and is looking little more different than Lincoln every day. I can't wait to see what he looks like as he continues to grow!
Jackson loves his dad. Whenever Stephen comes home Jackson gives him a huge smile. Every single time, its really amazing. He really knows who stephen is and really likes him! We don't remember Lincoln ever being so consistently excited to see Stephen, its really special!
Jackson always has his feet moving, whether he is sitting in his bumbo, sitting on the floor cuddling with me in bed, he is constantly doing ankle circles. A little dancer>?!?!
Jackson is still a very social kid. Loves people, loves action!
He also is a social eater, which I'm not sure how I feel about! He loves to be eating when everyone else is eating.
So far he has had banana, apple, pablum, sweet potato, carrot, peas, sweet potato & brocoli, peaches, icecream, mango sorbet, and mum-mums. Oh and frnech fries, as we just found Lincoln feeding Jackson french fries while we watched the Rider game and I worked on this blog. Jack was very happy.
He also really enjoys drinking water out of a cup, especially while eating.
Unfortunately Jackson has been constipated for the last week or so. Its hard watching your little scream while they try to have a movement...we have been trying to feed him foods that are high in fiber to help him through this tough time!
Jacksons favorite thing of all may be his bath time. He loves to sit in the tub with his big brother grabbing at any toy that may float his way. And he can kick up a mad storm when he lays on his back, he absolutely loves it.
He is super content, and just likes to sit on the floor, playing with his toys. He is starting to push himself up when he is on his stomach but I think crawling is still a month away.
So that is my baby at 7 months old!

Halloween 2010

Another successful year of sugar highs followed closely by sugar crashes. The boys went this year as a shark:


and a turtle:

Stephen took Lincoln out for a while. He would not say "Trick or Treat" but would say "thanks" or "bye" at each house. We then took the boys to my grandmother's house so she and grandpa could see their great grandboys all dressed up:

And then out to the farm to see Stephen's family. At which point the sugar was wearing off, and the boys were very tired! Getting a photo of them together proved to be pretty much impossible:


But it was great seeing Lincoln think he was actually a shark, as he chased me around the house! And Jackson, for whatever reason, got a HUGE kick out of having his costume on! It will only get more fun every year!

white devils

so i knew when my precious, sweet, relaxed to the maxed little baby boy jackson began to fuss and have troubles getting to sleep and staying a sleep that it wouldn't be long before we would see the cause. Yuppers, he is cutting his two bottom teeth and they finally broke through today! My little guy is doing great and is handling it like a real trooper!

one fall afternoon

this afternoon was truly a dream come true for my husband. he told me he dreamed of playing with his two boys and wife in a pile of leaves since he was younger. we are honored to be his family.

Lincoln Shares!

Ever since Jackson has been able to hold toys and have an interest in them, there has been an on going battle with Lincoln. Lincoln, lovingly I'm sure, would always grab the toy away and say "No brother. My toy. No share." Which I would usually reply, "Lincoln you need to share with your brother. Could you please get a toy that Jackson can play with then?" Which usually resulted in Lincoln restating, "No brother. No share. My toy!"
But today a miracle happened. After suggesting Lincoln get a new toy for Jackson, he went, found a different toy - placed it on Jackson's lap and said "Share brother! Share brother!" He was so proud of himself, and I was over the moon! Lincoln was then reward with a face full of kisses and words of praise from me :)

life is good

3 Things

Lincoln made me smile 3 times the other day.
First, I caught him sitting at the outlet for my grandmother's central vacuum - the place where the hose plugs into the wall - with a loonie in hand, ready to send it to who knows where. After tell him NOT to do what he was thinking about doing, he looks up at me and says, "Stuck! Stuck!" "Uh OH| I thought to myself as I walk over and put my hand it. Not only had he put one coin in there, but over $10 in change had been stashed for who knows how long!
Secondly, we walked to the store to pick up pie making ingredients. They have those cute mini carts at the store, so I gladly let Lincoln push one around. Lincoln isn't that great with steering yet, so he frequently hit displays, aisle corners, etc... Being a true Canadian an, "Oh Sorry. Sorry!" came out of his mouth every time he bumped into anything!
Thirdly I was changing his diaper later in the afternoon, and when I put the clean one of - I was readjusting it and realized there was quarters in his diaper! The little monkey had been putting money down the back of his shirt, and they had fallen into the diaper. Too bad he wasn't pooping money - that would be much for useful! :)

Sitting!

Jackson decided to sit all by himself today - seriously this kid is breaking my heart! Why do they have to grow up so fast?

Pablum 101

Much to my dismay my sweet baby Jackson has made it very clear he is ready for real food NOW! I was in no rush to start him on pablum, and thought I would wait until he was at least 6 months if not a bit longer. But my dear boy would have none of that. This last week he has been getting very vocal and excited at the dinner table. He has been trying to grab at spoons and straws. He once pulled the straw out of Stephen's coffee frap and desperately tried to put it in his mouth.

The last few evenings we have been having watermelon for dessert, so I have been letting him suck on the yummy fruit. Last night he was happily sucking on my piece when I felt him close his gums tightly around it. I realized he was trying to bite my watermelon and before I knew it he was successful and bit a big chunk off into his mouth! I quickly pushed my fingers past his clamped jaw and started to fish out the piece. Well my oh my did that make Jackson angry! I have never seen Jack display any type of anger before but this was 100% anger as his face got red and he began to scream his frustration "I WORKED SO HARD TO GET THAT PIECE! ITS MINE!"

I felt so bad for the little guy I went out and bought the rice cereal and we tried it last night. It went fairly well. He kept grabbing the spoon and forcing it towards his mouth. He also kept shoving his fingers in his mouth while he tried to eat - Stephen thinks that he does that as he associates sucking to eating, so if he isn't sucking he isn't eating.

I definitely experienced some feelings of possessiveness when I realized jackson was ready and I was not. Why would he need anyone but me to provide for him? Why was I no longer enough? I feel like its all down hill from here - before I know it he will be ignoring me at the mall when he is with his buddies....

Jackson's Weird Mouth Thing

Jackson always sucks his lips in.
Not sure why, but he does it all the time!

The Day Lincoln loved Jackson

Slowly but surely Lincoln has begun to love Jackson.And not just love Jackson but really like him. The last couple of days he seems to really be taking a liking to him. He now greets Jackson every morning by saying "Morning Brother!" And yesterday, on a hike through Wakamow Valley, Lincoln walk along side the stroller at one point telling Jackson all about the water below the bridge.
Today, while Jackson was doing some tummy time, Lincoln gave him repeated hugs and the boys watched some tv together.
He likes him! He really likes him!
*sigh of relief*

Jackson Proffesional Roller

On August 17th, Jackson rolled over from tummy to back! It was awesome! We were sitting with him on our bed, and had him on his tummy. He dropped his big head to the side, tucked his shoulder in and his upper half rolled over, he then pulled his hips over and WALLAH! he did it!
He is a pro now, in fact if I put him on his tummy, with in a few second he is on his back, whether he wants to be or not! He is so proud of himself every time he rolls over, maybe its because of how excited I get whenever he does it. The other day my grandmother and I had him on a blanket on the floor and he rolled over six times in a row. It won't be long until he can roll back to tummy!
Also, about two weeks ago, he decided to start putting weight on his legs. Before that he would just sink into his feet. Which was the exact opposite of Lincoln who LOVED to put weight on his legs, pretty much after birth. But now Jackson loves it and gets so excited every time we stand him up.
He continues to be an easy going fella who loves to laugh, smile and talk to anyone! He has been a little more restless lately at points, and I am quite certain he is going to start teething soon!

Can't Keep Up

Life has been speeding by lately. Daily I look at Jackson, and can't believe we are one month from being 6 months old. I am almost brought to tears every time I think about.
Lincon's vocabulary has been exploding! And he has even begun string 2,3 sometimes 4 words together! Everyday something new pops out of his mouth, its incredible. Yesterday, as we were leaving my grandparents, Stephen said, "see ya!" Lincoln piped up, "See ya!" Stephen has also been trying to teach Linc to say "aluminum" it is quite funny. Last night when Lincoln for the first time said "kick", I was so exclaiming to him how proud I was of him. And he got this little smirk on his face, like he was trying to hold in his smile and show that he was proud too. I said to him, "You are just full of new words and you just let one slip it ever now and then!" He gave me another sly smile, like he was say "You have no idea what I could say, I just don't feel like it!" We bought him a soccer ball yesterday and the boys had a great time kicking it around in the basement. Stephen is sure Lincoln is going to be a soccer player.
Unfortunately Lincoln has developed a bad habit I can't wait to break. Lincoln has been sleeping in a big boy bed for about 10 days now. The first night was rough, falling out 3 times! But since then no falls. Oh no, instead he has realized that he can get up at any point, toddle into our room, and request my presence. For the last four nights, about every 2 hours I suddenly am awakened to his little voice, "Come." "Come." Come!" Now, if we were in our own home, I would put him back to bed and break this habit. But we are not, and I don't think its fair to my grandparents to have the endure the crying at 1am, so I follow him. He crawls up onto his bed, snuggles into his pillow and pats the place empty beside him, "Come." he says. I snuggle him a tight as possible and we both drift away. Until I am awaken by hearing Jackson back in my room. So I stumble back, feed jackson, drift away with him in my arms, only to be awoken usually any hour later to Lincoln. requesting the warmth of my presence in his bed again. Stephen feels my frustration, but encourages me to enjoy this little phase. It won't be long until he will no longer want me to cuddle him at all hours of the night.

A Home

We have a new home!!!
Hallelujah!
And we get possesion in 27 days.
We have been living with my grandparents for the last 2 months and are more than ready to be in our own space again. My grandparents have been amazing, and we are so thankful for their hospitality, as it was stressful enough the last two months. I can't imagine doing it living in a hotel, or an RV, or worse - the in-laws! :) (only because their house is full, not because they are hard people to live with!)
It took a long time for us to find a home, we viewed over 20. But our amazing Realtor booked us a showing to the winning house without even telling us. It had just came on that day and was underpriced - so rare in hot market Moose Jaw has. (even though the last 2 months has seen significant declines in purchase, sellers still have not accepted the market is cooling off, and were over pricing, even though homes were not selling.) So we knew we had to move fast. We viewed it twice, and after a few counter offers, we got it!
We are thankful we hit the market at a softer time, got a wonderful home that we won't grow out of anytime soon, and that we can put our magic touch on and make some money on when we do sell.
The Lord has always been faithful when it comes to providing the perfect home for us at the perfect time. And once again He did it!
The things I love about our new home:
*backyard looks over a wheat field - which has a path running along the edge for evening walks.
*the fireplace
*the ensuite bathroom
*closets, closets, and more closets
*BIG bedrooms,
*finished basement with lots of storage room and living space
*little walls that will be perfect for me to finally experiment with bold wallpaper

A New Stage

We have entered a new stage of parenting. Long gone are the days of a pleasant, submissive, low maintenance little boy. Lincoln has begun his journey in what I assume are the terrible two's. Up until now I always thought, "really? what is the big deal with age 2? Why do I see moms snapping on their kids in grocery stores? Why can't they just keep their cool" Now I know. I have entered the club. I understand. And I apologize for judging.
It has only been lately, but i have become weary from parenting. It is 24/7, they are relentless, taking, taking taking. I can't remember the last time I was 100% alone. Unless you count when I ran into Superstore to buy Lincoln some Pedisure because he refuses to eat and only will drink milk. Not even my showers are alone time. I either listne to lincoln bang on the door the whole time, or let him sit in the bathroom and bang on the shower door for half the time.
I feel like I am really being tested as to who I am as a parent. And I have failed miserably on many occasions. I am not used to Lincoln's new whining voice he uses when he wants something when he is over tired. Even thinking about it in my head as I write this causes my blood pressure to slightly rise. How could one simple sound repeated over and over from someone grate you to the core? These last few weeks have been a huge challenge, feeling the growing pains of a new level of parenting.
He doesn't eat. He is sleeping in a big bed now, which means he comes into our room at least 2 times a night wanting me to sleep with him. He gets fixated on a certain toy every few days, and if we can't find it, the world ends. He wants what he wants and he wants it NOW. Never mind if I am in bathroom, trying to eat dinner, or feeding Jackson. (but never all 3 at the same time! My life isn't that crazy!)
I don't not mean to complain, but more to help me process that I am not a horrible mother, simply a mother in process.
That as much as Lincoln is learning everything in life, I am learning what it means to guide, teach, and discipline.

August 2010

We have been in Moose Jaw now since the end of June. Our house has finally sold. We are hoping to put in a an offer tomorrow on a house that is completely done. Well except landscaping, exterior and basement. But for us, that is pretty much done. We are so anxious to be living on our own again! Since being in Moose Jaw it has been much more trying than we anticipated. Stephen works non-stop, and has only had maybe 3 days off in the last 2 months. Which means I have been parenting 24/7 with few breaks. Mommy is getting a little impatient lately.
Lincoln's vocabulary has exploded this summer, and it is awesome. We have been waiting and waiting for this to happen. Sometimes he comes up with new words we don't know where he learned! He is like a little sponge. He also has become more tantrum prone. Thankfully, when he starts to get frustrated and starts crying and grunting more than communicating I can say, "lincoln, use your words please" And he stops and tells me what he needs. I think being so unsettled this summer and living with different ppl (spending 10 days in florida, then a week at Stephen's parents, then at my grandparents for a week, then back in Winnipeg for a weekend, and then finally at my grandparents again) he is a bit more clingly and likes to know where I am at all times. If he can't find me, I can hear the anxiety level in his voice begin to rise quickly. He also has just begun to cry whenever I leave to do errands or go on a date. Which isn't very often, but the face meltdown and weeping at the door, for a good 10 mins after I leave followed by mopingly walking around the house saying "mommy?" is what happens any time I leave. He also has begun insensately banging on the bathroom door whenever I go in there. Nothing like a relaxing bath with a toddler banging on the door yelling "MOM, SHOWER!" every 30 seconds!
He has started napping on a regular bed, which he loves and is going great. 3 nights ago he said he wanted to sleep all night on the bed, instead of his crib, so I thought that was cool and let him. He fell out twice. Once between the bed and the wall, once between the bed and crib I was using as a make shift rail. He hasn't slept on the bed since!
Jackson has started rolling over back to tummy! he continues to be my happy go lucky guy! He loves to chat and smile and lately we have found a few things that really get him laughing. like gut wrenching laughing, it is awesome! For example, talking to grandpa on skype is hilarious! Also, stephen put him up on his shoulders for the first time, and jack just roared and drooled for the longest time. i think it made him feel powerful! He also has finally been putting weight on his legs, and has come to really enjoy standing. He still sleeps with us. Once we are in our own place i will *think* about letting him sleep in his own crib.
zLinc continues to have a love hate relationship with his brother> but he is slowly coming to liking his brother more than disliking him. I will always remember the day lincoln used the word "back" for the first time. We were sitting at dinner at my grandparents. Stephen was holding Jackson and Lincoln was in his own chair. At some point I began to hold Jackson. Lincoln came over to me and started to stay "Back!"BAck!" After thinking for a while I figured out Lincoln wanted me to give Jackson back to Stephen. How sweet, I thought. As soon as Jackson was gone from my arms Lincoln climbed up onto my lap! He know only uses the word "back" when he wants his brother to be gone from my arms! Lincoln is a sneaky one!

Summer Days at Grandma's

While we have been in Moose Jaw waiting for our house to sell, my Grandparent's have been gracious enough to let us live with them. I have been enjoying my time with my grandparents a lot. My grandmother has taught me to make bread, and in a few weeks we will be doing chokecherry jelly. The boys and I spend our days usually at the park or playing in the garden. I love watching my grandmother, especially with Jackson. She loves to hold him on her lap while she sits in her lazy boy chair. She is quick to attend to him if he begins to fuss. My grandfather always loves interacting with Lincoln at meal time, and will try to encourage him to eat by saying, "Grandpa sure likes peas!" Sometimes it works. Most times it doesn't. Its been the best situation I could ask for as we sit in transition.

Jack's First Battle Wound

Today was the first day Lincoln hurt Jackson.
While eating with my grandparents Lincoln threw one of his metal toy trucks, and unfortunately hit Jackson scare on his head. Jackson began screaming, so I picked him up to console him, only to watch the little cut get redder and redder. Poor kid. Stephen decided that Lincoln should apologize to Jackson, so he brought him over, instructing him to say sorry. I watched as Lincolns face slowly began to melt and he burst into mournful tears. It was like watching him feel bad for the first time. So Lincoln climbed onto my lap as I consoled him as well as Jackson. Its amazing that my lap is big enough for both of my babies!
Jack's cut is tiny but on the left of his forehead.

Sleeping Boys

What mother doesn't love to watch her children sleep?

Weening

So we have become the first attempts at weening in our parenting career! Yesterday we lost the last of LIncoln's soothers (or Chooch as we call them). So we decided that was it. He was beginning chew through them quite frequently so it really was becoming time to stop. Last night was the first night of no Chooch. And it was so much easier than I expected! He asked for it once, and Stephen explained that there was no more "chooch" and he didn't need it anymore. He still had a bit of a hard time trying to get to sleep, but no trantrum or meltdown. Then today at nap time he asked for it again and I simply said "No more chooch! How about this car?" And he completely forgot about it. Maybe I was the one holding us up! Maybe I wasn't ready to be 'weened' and he has been ready for quite some time! That's ok with me!!

Mothering

I find it hard to believe that anyone could truly, 100% of the time enjoy being a mother and didn't daydream of the times when all you had to worry about was yourself! I secretly long for those days as well, and then feel guilty. But then I quickly catch myself and think why do I feel guilty? Do I love being a mother and my children? Absolutely. WOuld I go back and not have them or even prolong having them? Absolutely not. Do I miss what life was like without children? Almost daily. So why the guilt? When I really think about it, I DON'T feel bad that I miss not being 'on-call' 24/7.
While on an over due and much needed date with my husband the other evening we were sitting in a movie theatre (a movie we both were very excited to see) and I found myself thinking "I wish I was at home with my boys."
But then when I am at home with my boys, for the fourth day in a row of not leaving the house I pine for the movie theatre....
A paradox indeed!
But isn't mothering in itself a paradox? We pour ourselves into our children so that they can one day be independent people, no longer in need of 24 hour care? The goal: to give them roots but also wings so they can fly, all at the same time....

The Cemetery

The Cemetery behind our house has become a very special place for our family. I know that may seem weird to some, but we have spent hours walking the path. It was my personal and private running path, beautiful beyond words in the summer evenings. It was where we first discovered that Lincoln loved to push the stroller, and could push it for a very, very long time! It was where we first saw some incredible compassion and sensitivity coming from Lincoln, as he walked among the children's headstone - most dating back 100 years, and gently kissing each lamp that sat atop the tiny grave markers.
We saw it as a beautiful park with history, not a place of death and unrest. It always caused us to hold our children a little closer, and speak to each other a little kinder as we were among the gentle reminder that life is short.
Last night we went for what will most likely be our last family walk in the cemetery, so I snapped a few photos.

beach baby

We are in Florida for 10 days for a bit of R&R. We have wonderful family friends who live in Connecticut but have a vacation home in Florida that they generously let our family use whenever we please.
This is the home that Lincoln took his first steps in, just over one year ago!
Today we took our little boys to the beach. Last year Lincoln, not even being able to walk, was unsure of the water. And heaven forbid he actually get sand on his hands!
This year, he walked curiously towards the crashing waves, with Stephen and my dad holding each hand. As i sat on the beach and watched, as they lifted him over the waves, i assumed he was overwhelmed, frightened, and would be seeing the three turn around any minute and come back in, so i could console my little boy.
How wrong was I! After a few minutes I grabbed my camera to snap a few pics. They come in and Lincoln says, "MUM! WATER! WATER! WATER!" pointing excitedly. "He loves it!", Stephen informs me, as Lincoln confidently turns back around and starts to head back into the ocean, whether my dad and stephen want to go back or not!
After being out there for a while Lincoln and I sat on the beach and let the waves roll over our laps as Lincoln discovered how much fun it was to so sand...at the water. He would wait until the waves came and then throw it as far as he could. Which usually resulted in landing at my toes!
Stephen was taking advantage of the amazing aggressive waves with his boogy board. He got his butt kicked by the waves, and has quite a few injuries to prove it. At one point a little boy was sitting by Lincoln and I, and Lincoln turned to him and said "Dad! Dad!" pointing at Stephen as he rode another wave in. He was so proud of how cool his dad was, mastering those waves!
It didn't take long for Lincoln to decide that yes, sand was annoying as it didn't come off your body easily, but was so fun to stomp down the sand castles Grandpa built. You know what else is fun? Rolling and laying and eating the sand!
You know what is not so fun? Telling your 2 year old its time to go!

It was a great first day. My little beach bum, just like his parents!

I smell microwave popcorn

My sweet little Jackson has had some interesting 'habits' when it comes to his bowel movements!

For the first month, I would change his diaper and without fail he would fill it again within 10 mins! So i would change him again, and once again he would fill it. So i got to the point where, don't tell any other mom's, I wouldn't change him right away. It would have cost us an arm and a leg to see his new trick!

The other day, Jackson is now 2 months old, i was walking around and I kept smelling microwave popcorn. No matter what room i was in I could smell its sweet butteryness. I finally started smelling my clothes, wondering if it was me. I finally figured out it was Jackson - and he had a dirty diaper. A dirty diaper that smelled like microwave popcorn! For the last week its been this way. I smell popcorn, i know its time to change Jackson.

I like this new trick!

Dear...

Dear Self,
no wait
Dear Husband,
mmmm, no wait
Dear Life,

Don't know how much I hate moving? I know it may seem I send mixed signals because in the 6 years Stephen and I have been married we have owned 3 homes and moved our belongings 4 times.
It has only been 1 year since our last move and here we are again getting ready to do it again - 600km this time. The distance really doesn't matter does it?
I just want to unpack and settle. Get renovations done and then enjoy them. No more of this scrambling to get renovations done so we can get the house on the market.
Do I care what the counter tops are going to look like? No. Because they are not for me. They are for 'them' - the new owners.
*sigh*
soon, hopefully soon, we can unpack for more than a year.

Sincerely
Cher

my boys

Just a lovely friday night

Watching cars (for the baziollionth time) in mom and dad's bed.

Linc giving Jack a kiss

Jack loving spending time with Linc.

Running

Since we are scheduled to be in Florida in 16 days i have set a goal to lose some weight before we go. I have been trying for a week + 2 days now. And so far the damn red line on the scale has yet to move! I seriously think its broken. Everyday (except Sundays) I do something whether it be running or pilates or my "Biggest Loser Last Chance" workout video or my "Biggest Loser Weight loss yoga" video. I am doing hard exercise for at least an hour everyday - sometimes an hour and a half.
Anyways I have started running in the cemetery that we live behind. I have ran 5 times now. The first time I literally couldn't run more than a few minutes before walking. But I am amazed at how much I improve each time my feet hit the pavement. Today I ran for 20 mins, stopped for 2 min then ran for 10 more.
The place I run is heaven too me. I put on my David Crowder "Hymn Music" on my trusty iPod and am instantly connected to my Creator. The grass is so green and lush. The winding, darkly paved road contrast beautiful to manicured lawns and trees - causing them to pop. If I run at dusk the sunsetting hits everything perfectly. And I feel like I could run forever - well that is until i snap back to reality and feel the burning in my legs.
But it really has become something i look forward too - and what gets me out there each time is knowing how beautiful it will be, and the quiet time i will get to spend with the Lord.
I will definitely miss my cemetery runs.

twins?

this was Lincoln at six weeks old




and this was Jackson at six weeks old



after showing my mom the similarities she gave me some good advice: clearly mark which boy is which because you may get them confused twenty years down the road!

laughter

Jackson had his first laugh today - it was amazing!
He is becoming so smiley - it's infectious!
He is such a beautiful baby, my heart just overflows with pride and love when I stare at him.

Numbered

23 days to lose 10lbs
10 work days until Stephen is done
7 weeks old, feel like so much longer Jackson has been apart of our family
2 months until we move back to Moose Jaw
3 weeks to finish the house
1 me to keep it all organized and on schedule

not a creature was stirring...

its 11am.
jackson is sleeping
lincoln is sleeping
the house is silent
the sun is warm on my back through our windows
the house is somewhat clean
i finally have some time to blog
but cant think of ANYTHING!!!

New Chapter

I can't believe we are doing it. Last week Stephen resigned from his job. Its time for a change. What are we doing? Well so far are headed back to Moose Jaw around the end f July to run Stephen's brother's very successful paintball business until the end of the season. Stephen's brother is headed to the states for university.
Stephen has always wanted a chance to run the field or start his own field so when this opportunity came up we thought, why not?
After that we have a 2 options: stay in Moose Jaw, and Stephen can work with his Dad or head to New Zealand for a few months, a dream we have always had. (guess which option I am rooting for!)
Thats about all we know - we think we are selling our house in Winnipeg - which makes me very sad. I love our home here. We love our community, our neighbours. It will be sad to leave all this good stuff.
But it was time for a change.

Jackson Loves...

There is nothing like the feeling of figuring out what your one month old son loves! Jackson LOVES it when I take his little legs out of his sleeper and gently and rub and play with those little feet and chicken legs! He gets so content, and the last few days even little smiles on his face! He pulls and pushes his legs in response, its great!
He also has been experimenting with his voice, it is so cool to see him do something intentional! As well, in the last week or so, when I pick him up if he is fussing I can really tell that he knows who I am - his eyes have so much more behind them, than that almost vacant newborn look!
He is growing up so fast!

:Mommy: Badges of Honor

Here are some things that have happened that make me feel like I am receiving a badge of honor - exclusive to mothers:
:: little green grass stains on little boy pants
:: finding pine cones in my washing machine
:: finding rocks and dirt in little jackets pockets
:: making mustard or relish sandwich
:: having spit up run down my cleavage - and not even thinking twice about it
:: picking up lego piece, after lego piece, after lego piece
:: having Linc come up to me several times a day asking me to "fix it"
:: sitting in the Jeep for the third time in a day, just to see a little boy's face light up
:: while trying to feed jackson, figuring out how to console Lincoln who just bumped his head...again

Jackson's Birth

Jackson's birth was a truly incredible experience, as we chose to do it at home. Don't get me wrong, I love the story of Lincoln's birth - its precious, but there is something about the second one, actually knowing what to expect in the labor/birthing process that makes it so different.
We didn't tell very many people that we were birthing at home because honestly I didn't want to have to deal with all the looks, possible nay sayers, etc... So we decided that, Lord willing, that everyone could find out once we had the successful birth at home.
Contractions started sometime around 7:30am on Sunday, March 28th. I had been struggling the last few days, trying to make a decision if I was going to take a castor oil drink to help induce labor and had decided if he didn't come by Sunday I would take the drink. Thankfully I didn't have to do anything! I was scheduled to meet my bestie Becki Rodin, from Ontario, for breakfast, as she was in town visiting family. We were supposed to meet around 8:30am, so she texted me just before 8am to make sure we were still on, and I told her I was having contractions. As I sat there trying to decide if I could fit in a quick breakfast before the baby would come, I realized that would be pretty stupid, so I had to cancel. I woke Stephen up shortly after, and told him I was having contractions. "For real?" was his response. "Yup" - I haven't seen him move so quickly out of bed in a long time! We got Lincoln dressed, called my midwife and my mom. Packed Lincoln's bag, and my mom and brother Chris and sister in law Corissa came over. Chris and Corissa had just arrived in town the night before from Africa where they had spent the month! They took Lincoln back to my parent's. My midwife arrived shortly after about 8:30 or 9, I was in the tub, just relaxing, as the contractions weren't too bad then.
The labor was so incredible, I was in this very controlled state of mind, so in tune with my body. I felt so comfortable being in my own home, it definitely contributed to the amazing labor that i had. Around 9:30 we all had some toast for breakfast, and I showed Becki (our midwife) our house a little bit. At this point I had to stop whatever I was doing whenever a contraction hit. I went back into the tub for a little bit, then Beckie told me that I could either stay in the tub and rest and keep things where they were at or I could get out, do the stairs a few times and that would probably take my labor to the next stage. Well, I am not one to put off meeting my 2nd born child, so out of the tub I got and I did the stairs a few times. Around 10am Beckie checked me and I was 7cm dilated. She called her back up midwife, we knew it wouldn't be long. Shortly after that my contractions really started to progress. At about 10:50 I had my first "screaming, would do anything to get out of my own body" contraction while in the bathroom. The second midwife arrived just as it was happening. I knew that I had to get to my room, where they were set up to birth the baby, quickly before the next one hit. I made it just in time, as the second contraction hit, and I ended up on the floor. At this point i could feel Jacksons coming. I was not on the bed, dignified as I had imagined, but instead on the floor, gripping my bed saying, "I need help, I need help!" My midwife was there coaching me "Keep your voice low Cher, nice low moans" and then right after my third contraction "I have to push!!!". I have 3 hard, fast pushes, one right after the other and out he came, born at 11:02am on the floor of our bedroom. My mom came upstairs just in time to see him come, he came so fast!
The feeling of accomplishment when that baby comes out is indescribable. After Lincoln was born I remember saying "I did it. I did it" almost in disbelief. But after Jackson I kept saying "I'm done! I'm done." So thankful that the laboring was over.
Once he was born they put him on my stomach, and I just tried to soak in the fact that we had another baby boy. I was definitely in a bit of shock, as the last part of the labor went so fast and so intense. It took a while for me to catch up to what had happened. I don't remember a lot of what happened, I know Stephen cut the cord at some point. I birthed the placenta. After they got all the medical pads cleaned up I moved onto our bed and just spent time with our son. Shortly after Chris and Corissa brought Lincoln back home, and my dad and other brother cameron arrived. They all met Jackson within the first hour of his birth! We had a family meal together. It was wonderful.
We didn't decide right away on Jackson's name, there was another name we were strongly considering. But after about a day we made it official: Jackson Philip Stephen.
Jackson means "God is gracious" - which personally has a lot of meaning to me, and my pregnancy.
Philip is the name of my grandfather, one of the most incredible men that I know. He has sown so much into our family, and I truly have an amazing heritage because of him and my grandmother, Inez.
Stephen is after Stephen - again one of the most incredible men that I know and i am luck enough to be married to him!

I was so fortunate to be able to birth at home, and will definitely be doing it with our next one - it was so amazing!

Weight

33lbs gone.
25lbs to go!

Jackson Philip Stephen Dombowsky

Who is Jackson?

Well I have only got to know him for the last 15 days outside of the womb. In the womb, he was my hiccup baby. Always with the hiccups. And he continues that outside as well.

Jackson is super relaxed. Jackson loves to sleep, eat, and observe the world.
Jackson, without fail, will fill his diaper right after I have just changed him.
Jackson is kind to his mother, he lets her get one four to five hour stretch of sleep each night. (most of the time!)
Jackson only cries if he wants to be cuddled, or we are changing his diaper or he is really hungry.
Jackson is gassy boy - and generally prefers to explode his poops into his diapers, surprising anyone who maybe holding him at the time.
Jackson doesn't mind when his big brother pokes at his eyes, nose, ears and mouth.
Jackson is the perfect fit into our family. He just makes sense.

I am blessed

i have not one, but two incredible little boys.

and thats not just my biased mother opinion, they truly are extraordinary.

Lincoln is so well behaved, so loving, so adventurous. Just this rad little boy, with an incredible personality.

Then along comes Jackson, born out of the most trying seasons of my life. He is relaxed, he sleeps amazing, and probably the most exciting for me, the kid can breastfeed!

i know i did nothing to deserve this - to be so truly blessed.

and right now, they are enough - nothing in our stressful lives matter because all that matters are those two little boys. knowing all the work and stress and tears we shed as we try to figure out this season of life, they don't matter. because at th end of the day we have each other.

yesterday, they were not enough.

the weights of this world overwhelming us, causing us to loose sight of what we have.

Went to the mall

Went to Winner's and the mall today with my mom, trying to keep the days actually going by. At the mall I was asked twice when I am due.
"Four days ago.", is my unimpressed answer.
I realized I was wrong once I got home.
It is now five days ago.
This.Sucks.
Baby.Please.Come.

Milkshake

This pregnancy has been much different than Lincolns. Now I am sure I mostly remember the wonderful things about Linc's pregnancy, those sweet endorphins blocking out the rest, but I do know they have been different.
Physically this pregnancy has been more difficult, in some ways. The nausea at the beginning was much easier than Linc. But the weight gain came quickly and fiercely. So much so we couldn't even hide that we were pregnant at 11 weeks! I had to get prenatal massage with this pregnancy because of the stress on my lower back - but who can complain about getting an hour massage every 3 weeks! I haven't retained water nearly as much with Linc (thankfully!). I have gained more weight with this baby, I think I am at 55lbs now.
Emotionally I expected this pregnancy to be wonderful and exciting. Boy was I wrong. I went through all the same emotions I did with Lincoln - fear of becoming a mom (again?), wondering what it would do to our finances, social life and marriage. Regretting not waiting longer, wondering how in the world I would manage being a mother of two. Being so emotional over what it might mean to Lincoln, and to our relationship! So many of the same emotions, and so many new ones accompanied this pregnancy.
Mentally, it has mostly been easier. I found it very hard with the first one not knowing what labor would be like. I'm sure most first time mom's feel that way, especially if you want to do it naturally. But with Lincoln I didn't have a clue how to prepare myself for the hormonal imbalance that takes place after baby is born. I was a shell of myself for at least the first 4 weeks. It was fairly horrible month. Which I feel aweful about. This time I feel like I know much better what to expect with this second child, but sometimes knowing that the first month could be hard drives me a little batty - feeling much fear of how in the world I would do it with not only a newborn relying on me, but a very perceptive and caring two year old. The one area that has been much harder mentally with this child is going over due!
Going over due is the most mentally challenging thing a pregnant women can go through! You are beyond done being pregnant, but still very pregnant which in my case means emotional and hormonal. So because you are emotional and hormonal you easily get stressed, especially when your baby doesn't come. But your baby (maybe) doesn't come because you aren't relaxed. But your aren't relaxed because your still pregnant. But your still pregnant because you aren't relaxed!!!! I try to be relaxed about it - but its been impossible so far. With lincoln I was totally prepared to go at least 10 days over due, had no idea what the start of labor would look like. And bam, I wake up on his due date have crazy insane labour for about 3 hours and the kid is born. This baby, i didn't expect to go overdue - and figure I will have much better idea of what labor will look like. Well guess I was wrong. The most frustrating part is the fact that I have had no signs of labor, besides some braxton hicks! I truly feel like I will be pregnant forever, and that there isn't even a baby inside of me. And I'm only 4 days over due! (One day if you go by the ultra sound due date) I am such a wuss! I will be shocked if this baby ever decides to come. Stephen and I made a deal, if the baby stays inside me for 12 months, we will name it Buster (a little 'arrested development' humor for those who watched)
Oh yes and the dreams! With Lincoln the dreams were wonderful, reaffirming. In all of the them I bonded with the baby, and we had a boy and they were just wonderful. The dreams I have had with this baby usually involve the baby looking quite homely, me not evening knowing what the sex of the baby is, and not even getting to hold it for quite sometime after it was born. Last nights dream I was shocked when I held my baby for the first time, at how big it was, and my mother remarked, "Well its gained a good 5lbs since birth!) I also mistook it for a boy, when really it was a girl. And an ugly girl at that. So then i feel like the worst mother ever for the first few hours in the morning. And what does Stephen tell me when i tell him about my dreams? "Honey, you really need to stop dreaming about the baby." Good idea.
This is quickly turning into a crazy hormonal lady rant, so I will end it here.
ps the title has nothing to do with the content. I was simply drinking a milkshake when I sat down to blog. And then I knocked it over. Perfect.

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

Stephen and I are both going mad with anticipation of our next child - due TOMORROW! We can't even talk about 'the plan' or anything anymore, because Stephen gets so nervous. Not nervous about the labor, or being doing it at home, its that nervousness that comes from anticipating something so great, but not knowing when it will start! So we had a little fun last night, decorating my belly. Linc and I have watched Ice Age 3 one too many times I think!

Obviously, I have always had a pretty good sense of humor - so I found this hilarious, laughing so hard tears almost came! Stephen didn't know if he should laugh or not, he felt like he was desecrating something sacred! "What if our kid grows up with buck teeth now?", was his concern!
For me, its all about the memories. Capturing memories, capturing parts of who Stephen and I are as young parents. Thats the main role of this blog - to capture all of that, then eventually print it in a cute book, and have it to be passed down in the family.
I would sure love to see my great grandchildren's reaction to some of the things we have done!

Post it on bookface

Today Stephen, Lincoln and I went for coffee at starbucks during Stephen's coffee break. Lincoln was so excited to go for "cof" with "da"! How could he not when he knows his father will spoil him rotten, making sure to order a small cup of whipping cream for his little buddy to enjoy! Lincoln knows the starbucks drive thru so well, and the treats that are sure to follow, that whenever we begin to go through one all we hear from the back seat is, "Please, please, please, please" in great anticipation of what he will get to enjoy. Anyways, I am getting sidetracked.
As we enjoyed our various drinks - a nice coffee for Stephen, Iced black tea lemonade for myself, and whipping cream for Lincoln I told Stephen how earlier that morning I had told Lincoln that we were going out and he could decide if he wanted to wear his boots or his shoes. So he runs over, grabs his shoes, and proceeds to successfully put one on the right foot, even getting the velcro done up. Stephen was very impressed and said, "You should put that up on facebook, 'Can your 2 year old put on his own shoes?'"
I cautioned Stephen, "You know honey I have one friend who has a child about the same age as Linc and she is already walking down the stairs."
"Oh!", came the reply.
"What if everyone was like, "My 18mos old can put on their shoes, whats wrong with your kid?"
We laughed, knowing, well hoping, no one would ever say that. A few minutes later an older couple, in their late 50's came up to us and told us that Lincoln was the most well behaved child they had seen in a long time, and they were very impressed. Stephen and I were so proud of our little Lincolnator! I turned to Stephen after the couple left and said, "Now THAT is something you post on facebook!"
And to think we are having another one any day now! So pumped!

Lincoln's second sleepover

Lincoln went for his second sleep over at my parents last night. The first was on our 5th Anniversary, when my parents so generously booked a wonderful couples only getaway and took our little 9 month old for the night. It was wonderful.
This sleep over was motivated by the fact that Lincoln will most likely end up at my parents for a night or two after the baby arrives. They just recently downsized their large home and are settling into a brand new condo, so we wanted to make sure Linc would be comfortable in their new environment. Well, not surprisingly Lincoln had a blast! I mean what toddler wouldn't love 24hour access to an elevator when at Grandma & Grandpas!
It was harder than expected saying goodbye to my little monkey! At first he didn't want us to leave, so my Dad brought Lincoln with us as we road the elevator down. Well it worked like a charm, when we got to the bottom he eagerly waved "Bye! BYE!" and blew us kisses, more than ready to ride the elevator back up. I was almost in tears.
But regardless Stephen and I had a wonderful evening by ourselves. We went to the Keg, also compliments of my parents, an anniversary gift used 2 months late! I was actually looking forward to having to wait for a table. Something that now can be quite stressful with a busy, hungry toddler. But unfortunately we didn't have to wait. I also looked forward to not having to suddenly rush through dinner, because Lincoln was over tired. And we didn't have to rush, it wonderful. We finished our evening with watching "Away We Go", both deciding that we needed to do the simple things, like watching a movie together, more often.

It was over all wonderful. Here a few photos that my parents took of their adventure with the Lincolnator.