Cher & Peanuts tips

Here are the few "tips" i came up with while I was pregnant to post as my facebook status. Some are pretty funny

Cher & Peanuts tip:

Pregnant women learn the coolest tricks, like how to go from calm to scarily irrational in under 5 seconds! ARE YOU CALLING ME IRRATIONAL? 5,4,3..

Cher & Peanuts: If you ask "What do you want?" I would say"A boy or a girl. Cas if it was cat or a dog, wow, that would be weird!".


Sometimes pregnant women get tired...very tired. Too tired to think of something witty and life changing.

Babies are like cookies - they take anywhere from 8-10 minutes to bake. I hope my Cookie only takes 8 mins to bake.



You know what would make an excellent baby gift? A Wii. With Guitar Hero. And Dance Dance Revolution. Just a suggestion


If you are 37 weeks prego and getting anxious for you lil peanut trying pushing harder when you pee. But make sure to check before you flush!

There is no rhyme or reason to pregnancy. Explain to me how you can gain 50lbs but still fit wonderfully into the bikini you wore at age 16



A pregnant women's best friend and worst enemy is in fact one and the same: Peanut Butter M&M's. Oh how I love and loathe you.



In a few months I will be thin again, but YOU will still be fat!" (oops did I say that out loud?).


If your wife is 31 weeks pregnant and calls you 3 TIMES from another room, GO SEE HER. She is most likely stuck on the floor and can't get up



If you are pregnant don't wear a bright orange shirt to work. Unless you enjoy being called 'pumpkin'. Farm produce reference + pregnant= angry.



Calm a pregnant lady by tossing food directly into her mouth. For safety stay 5 feet back. (may also work with bears, sharks, and geese)



If you are past 30 weeks pregnant make sure to look before you flush because you never know.



Don't get mad when you are wrong everytime you disagree with a pregnant lady. Its not her fault you only have 1 brain, and she has 2



If your wife is 7.5 months pregnant don't plan a poker night that starts in 5 hours and not tell her. Unless you welcome death, that is