Cher & Peanuts tips

Here are the few "tips" i came up with while I was pregnant to post as my facebook status. Some are pretty funny

Cher & Peanuts tip:

Pregnant women learn the coolest tricks, like how to go from calm to scarily irrational in under 5 seconds! ARE YOU CALLING ME IRRATIONAL? 5,4,3..

Cher & Peanuts: If you ask "What do you want?" I would say"A boy or a girl. Cas if it was cat or a dog, wow, that would be weird!".


Sometimes pregnant women get tired...very tired. Too tired to think of something witty and life changing.

Babies are like cookies - they take anywhere from 8-10 minutes to bake. I hope my Cookie only takes 8 mins to bake.



You know what would make an excellent baby gift? A Wii. With Guitar Hero. And Dance Dance Revolution. Just a suggestion


If you are 37 weeks prego and getting anxious for you lil peanut trying pushing harder when you pee. But make sure to check before you flush!

There is no rhyme or reason to pregnancy. Explain to me how you can gain 50lbs but still fit wonderfully into the bikini you wore at age 16



A pregnant women's best friend and worst enemy is in fact one and the same: Peanut Butter M&M's. Oh how I love and loathe you.



In a few months I will be thin again, but YOU will still be fat!" (oops did I say that out loud?).


If your wife is 31 weeks pregnant and calls you 3 TIMES from another room, GO SEE HER. She is most likely stuck on the floor and can't get up



If you are pregnant don't wear a bright orange shirt to work. Unless you enjoy being called 'pumpkin'. Farm produce reference + pregnant= angry.



Calm a pregnant lady by tossing food directly into her mouth. For safety stay 5 feet back. (may also work with bears, sharks, and geese)



If you are past 30 weeks pregnant make sure to look before you flush because you never know.



Don't get mad when you are wrong everytime you disagree with a pregnant lady. Its not her fault you only have 1 brain, and she has 2



If your wife is 7.5 months pregnant don't plan a poker night that starts in 5 hours and not tell her. Unless you welcome death, that is

Splish Splash Linc loves his baths!

We have a little fishy, his name is Lincoln. We just figured out about 2 weeks ago that Lincoln loves being in the big bath tub. We were over at my mom and dad's and Grandma just had to give him his bath, but since I hadn't brought Linc' little tub my mom put about 2 inches of water in the big tub and laid him in there. It was unbelievable, he just started kicking. And kicking. And kicking. He was kicking so hard I thought he was going to bruise his little heels. He loved it! Now that its been a couple of weeks, when I get him ready for his bath he gets his huge smile on his face.

He kicks so hard that I get wet and the shower walls get wet. He kicks for so long I have to add more warm water. His little lip will be quivering because the water has gotten cold again and he will still be kicking. I will drain the tub and he will still be kicking. I pull him out of the tub and put him in his towel and he will still be kicking. He just loves it. If someone new comes into the bathroom to see him having his bath, he kicks harder, and waits for their response! He loves putting on little shows, and watching our reactions!

And the very best part of his baths is how hard he sleeps after them! Tires himself right out. That's my little fishy.

Birthing our Peanut

I was fully prepared to go 10days over due and to endure labor for at least 20 hours. I had read and re read about the different stages of labor, I had bought the birthing ball, aromatherapy oils, and snacks for Stephen for the long road of labour that I was sure to endure. I started having contractions in the early morning of April 15th, Lincoln's due date. I was sure they were false labor, as I had had lots of false labour in the weeks before. I got annoyed when i couldn't sleep through these 'false labours' and decided to get up and read my book around 3am. Not a big deal I thought, i could just catch up on my sleep the next day. When I couldn't read through my contractions, and had to start pacing Lincoln's nursery, I was still sure I was in false labor. Annoying, strong false labor. By 4:30, after doing my 'false labor' by myself for 1.5 hours and it only getting stronger I decided to wake Stephen up. He told me later that when I woke him he thought to himself "can't I just sleep little longer, this is going to be such a long process anyways" Lucky for him he did not voice that wish and got out of bed. The 'false labour' was quite strong by this point, as I paced through out kitchen trying to get through each one. By this point I thought I should maybe call my midwife, but felt really bad for calling her so early in the morning. I decided to wait at least until 5:30. Since it was just false labour. By 5:15 I was on the phone with my mid wife, explaining what was happening. She suggested that I sit in the tub or the shower, also thinking we had a long normal road ahead of us. And then she heard me do a contraction over the phone. She said quickly "I think I will come over check you out." So I decide to go into the shower like she suggested. I don't know who thought that going in the shower is supposed to make contractions any easier because it doesn't. Once I emerged and went to the bathroom I had some 'bloody show', at this point I looked at Stephen and said "honey, this baby is coming today!" After this I remember being in the baby's room, leaning over my birthing ball doing my contractions. I remember at points hitting the wall violently during my contractions. I remember telling Stephen "GO AWAY" as another contraction ripped through my body. I remember saying things like "I don't want to have this baby" " Little baby why do you hurt so much coming out?" "I'm going to die" "I dont want to do this" " I can't do this" I also remember saying rather frantically "I need Becky (my midwife) Where is Becky? Stephen CALL BECKY!!!" I think she arrived around 6:15, found me on the floor, slamming my fist into the carpet. She said "I think we should check to see how far along you are" I was fully expecting 4 maybe 5 cm. I couldn't believe how intense this early labor was, and how I was supposed to endure 20 hours of this. So we get up on the bed and she says "You are 8cm. We need to get you to the hospial now" So Stephen call's my mom, we hurry around trying to finish getting packed up, and my mom walks in the door just as we are walking out to rush to the hospital. On the way to the hospital my wonderful husband tries to give me a suggestion on how best to do a contraction in the my midwife's minivan, I responded with a gentle "STEPHEN SHUT UP!" I also remember at one point seeing a light turn yellow and yelling at my midwife "GO! GO! GO!". She was very smart and went through the red light. I always wondered what it would be like to be that women being pushed hurriedly through the hospital in a wheel chair, screaming because she is in full blown labor. Well now I know, and it didn't feel that great. I remember being in the wheel chair and saying quite loudly "I feel like i have to poop!" We got to the hospital around 7am ( I think, i wasn't really watching the clock)and they were ready for us, as my midwife had called ahead, they rush us into a room, and the most amazing nurse was there to help my midwife. I was on the floor going through a contraction and she comes over and says "Cher honey, if you nee to push you can push" And I looked at her and sad desperately "But I don't know how!" Well, I figured it out farely quickly. Pushing was the best part of the labour. I found it very manageable, since I was in control. Once i started the pushing part of my labor, I never had that huge urge that I thought I would have to push. It was just like , ok I think I should push now, and so I would push. The little rests between pushes were amazing. I remember during one of these little rests my mom said, "You know Cher, both you and Chris were born before 8:00am". I looked at the clock and said, "Well then we have 10 minutes to get this baby out!" We all laughed, no one thinking it would actually happen. Low and behold 7:59am Lincoln was born. My water still hadn't broke when i began pushing. Everyone (being my midwife, a nurse, Stephen and my mom) kept saying "I see the water, I see the water!" I kept thinking, that's great that you can see the water, but I am trying to birth the baby, where is the baby? So my midwife broke my water and after that they could see Linc's hair. But no one told me that they could see hair for quite a while. So I am sitting there thinking man I have a lot pushing ahead of me, we haven't even seen the head or anything! Then someone made some comment about seeing hair or a head and I was like what! you can see the head! Well let's get this baby out! I remember only once having an uncontrollable scream, don't get me wrong, I made lots of noise, but only once was even i surprised and a little scared of the noise that came from my body. Probably because our little Linc decided to sit with his head half way out for about 15 minutes of pushing! When Linc was born and place on my stomach, it was unbelievable. All i kept thinking was "i did it! I did it! Its over. And I did it!" It was quite a few minutes and then I hear my mom say "Well let's find out what it is!" And they hold up our little peanut "It's a boy!" It didn't matter. He was here, he was healthy. I had 2 hair line tears, not enough to stitch. I lost more blood than they realized so i had to be on an IV for most of the rest of that day. I had never had an IV before that. I also was so weak from the loss of blood, they had to do a cathader....that was almost worse than the baby! The hospital food sucked. My dad, Siloam and best friend Ashley sent us amazing bouquets of flowers. The one thing I found most surprising, beside giving birth on my due date, and in under 5 hours, was how badly the contractions hurt after he was born. They hurt even the next day. So that's it, that's how it went down. Next time we are going to just sleep in the parking lot of the hospital, or if I get my way, just do it at home!

Lincoln's First Kiss?

Lincoln received his first kiss this past sunday at our friend kari's house. It came from Abby who is 6 months. Abby's dad was holding Lincoln by her carrier, and Abby got so excited when she saw Lincoln she reached out, grabbed his hand, and shoved it in her mouth. His first kiss. It was a little aggressive, and I didn't really ever think Lincoln would go for the 'cougar' type, but oh well. When love happens, it just happens. He was pretty proud he was able to snag a women twice his age! :)

Breastfeeding, kind of.

So I have been debating whether or not I wanted to write about my nightmare that breastfeeding was. I decided that for my next baby I didn't want to remember all the horrible things. But sometimes I need to be reminded of valid reasons why Linc and I can't breastfeed.

The other day I was at the Mission with Linc, and an elderly lady, who I don't know, asked me if I was breastfeeding. I said that I was pumping. She then proceeded to ask my why I wasn't breastfeeding. Needless to say I was a little taken a back, and a little offend at such a personal question. Thankfully my awesome friend Diane was there and she piped up and said "Oh they have had every problem under the sun."

Sometimes I do feel like I have failed as a mother because i can't breastfeed. Sometimes I wonder what we are missing by not breastfeeding. Sometimes i wonder if Linc knows he is missing something. So I guess sometimes I need to remind myself of what we went through. And remind myself that it is ok that we don't breastfeed in the conventional way.

These are the basic points:
1. Extreme infection in my nipples. My midwife, who has been a midwife for 12 years, and never seen anything like it. (it took over 2 months to heal)
2. Lincoln is tongue tied.
3. I don't produce enough milk (I take medication to keep my milk supply up)
4. Having to supplement starting at about 2 weeks with a bottle caused nipple confusion.
5. Because of the infection, we had to use nipple shields, which creates a whole mess of problems, while solving a few.

Combine all of that over about 4 weeks, each problem presenting itself after another. Some solutions creating problems, and some problems needing long solutions. Feedings would take anywhere from 1 to 2 hours. 1 hour was a good feeding. Needless to say I wasn't getting a lot of sleep. So eventually, after trying for 7 long weeks, being on several different medications, trying several different routines, and after seeing a couple of different Lactation Consultants, we decided that I would just pump and give Linc a bottle. Instead of putting him on the breast for 10 min. (which usually involved screaming or sleeping, because when you can't produce enough milk your child either gets frustrated and screams or gets bored and sleeps) then giving him a bottle of formula, so he was actually full (which would take 20-40mins.), and then pumping for 20 minutes after that. Yes, I was definitely going out of my mind.

I am thankful, very thankful that I am able to pump. In reality what we have chosen to do isn't that easy. I have to pump, and then feed. Twice the work. But it definitely has some positives. I don't have to work my life around breastfeeding. Stephen has been able to help with feedings, which he really enjoys. My mom and dad love having Lincoln over, and now we don't have to worry about me being back in time to feed him, they can give him his bottle.

Would I like to be able to breastfeed like normal mothers? Yes, definately. But above everything I am just thankful that he is at least getting breastmilk. Because my boy is going to be one smart cookie! And I want to loose all this baby weight quickly! Linc, you owe me some pretty sweet Mother's Day presents in the future!

Today I don't like being pregnant.

My feet and legs are so swollen I look like an 80 year old with a severe case of Toxemia.

My right hand is killing me, because in the last week I have developed Carpal tunnel because of my swelling.

I dread going to bed tonight because my back hurts so much by the end of the day when I wake up in the middle of the night it takes minutes for me to coach myself to flip over and somehow pull my 160lb up so I can go to the bathroom, for the 3rd time. It hurts so bad some nights.

Lately my braxton hicks contractions have been getting stronger. I don't think this is necessary. Unless my body is actually going to have this baby, I don't want any unnecessary practice!

I am supposed to sit forward as much as possible because my dear little peanut is laying with its back against my back, which cause back labour. But I am also supposed to sit with my feet elevated as much as possible. Will someone please tell me how I am supposed to do both?

Peanut, you are worn out your welcome! Mommy wants her body back, please come out!

MySpace

This is an old blog I found on our computer. I think its pretty funny.

If you would have asked me 3 months ago if I would pick myspace or death, I would have picked death. I was always one to quickly dis myspace, its avid users and its impersonal way of communication. I vowed to never become a myspace sheep. But then I made my first fatal mistake. I started checking out my dear friends (Joanne) myspaces. It was like opening a treasure chest! You look at one persons list of friends, only to make the rich discover that you know 3 of their friends. You continue to click on each of them, only to find more people you know! Some are good friends, others I haven't thought of in years. Slowly the thought started to creep into my mind "maybe I should join myspace..." but then my better half, my stronger half would tell my self "NO CHER YOU MUST STAY STRONG...DO NOT LET THE POWERS OF MYSPACE WEAKEN YOU". And so our little dance continued...myspace wooing my heart, making me tingle, but my mind always stopping me before I did something I regret. Then I made fatal mistake number 2, I spoke that little voice out loud, while sitting beside my husband. Well to skip a bunch of boring crap, here I am... a user of myspace. It feels like death.*

*any and all opinions expressed in the previous blog are that of Cher, and not Stephen. Duh - we all know Stephen could not write anything that funny.