There is a part of me, approx. 48lbs of me, that is more than ready to have this baby out of my body. I found the weight gain, even though the exact same as last time, much harder to deal with this time. 48lbs is a LOT for a little 5'4" 110lb women to gain in 7 months. Its hard physically on my body, and its hard on me emotionally. Even though I know its for a good reason, and that when I'm not pregnant I don't gain weight at an outrageous rate. But when the pants you bought just a few months ago no longer fit, it sucks. Especially since I refuse to buy the next size since I only have a few weeks left. "Cute" and "Beautiful" and not words I use anymore when i am full term. Not when I can see an extra pound in my face. Even my armpits and knees are fatter! I look forward to being able to have the energy and physical ability to take both of my kids to the park and start slowly working all this weight off.
But there is another part of me that, in the last week, has started feeling like its too soon! I feel like I have my heels digging into the sand, being dragged by time, that for the last 8 months I only wished I could speed up! There is a lot of stuff I would like to see done on the house. But mostly its just the unknown of what life with a toddler and newborn is going to be like. And if i am going to be able to handle it. Going back to being up every 3-4 hours. but not having the luxury, as with only one child, to nap whenever they do. Unless that is I can get the kids on the same schedule, which will definitely be priority. Wondering how you do errands with 2 children? How do you discipline your toddler, while in the middle of feeding your newborn?
I guess this is probably why we have no control over when the baby actually comes. If I did, I probably would have made it come before i was ready, or at this point put off having it simply out of fear of the unknown.
Thankfully I have no say in it. But a 24hour notice would be nice!
No comments:
Post a Comment